The Dating Diaries : Great dates, Ghosting & Self-Confidence.

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If you didn’t already know, I am single and have been on and off dating for a while now.

As much as I would love to bump into the love of my life in the supermarket, that’s not really now it works these days. Now, if you want to meet people you have to use your phone.

Yeah, I have been using dating apps. THEY SUCK!!

You can spend hours and hours swiping away hoping that hot guy likes you back. But that is all you are doing, just judging people on a few photos of themselves.

Then, if you get a match, you have to strike up a conversation with this complete stranger on the internet.

usually after a few days of messaging you arrange to meet up. It usually is a wee afternoon coffee or drinks, so you can meet and see if there is any sort of connection, and then take it from there.

Clearly, I haven’t met the one yet cause I am STILL single. But I guess this was never going to be easy.

The other night I went on a date with I guy I matched with a few days before hand. We didn’t really message much, just agreed when and where to meet. I guess he just wanted to talk in person.

First dates always make me so nervous, but I felt so at ease when he arrived.

We went for drinks at a bar in Glasgow that had live music on. We sat and chatted away for ages over a couple of beers and seemed to get on really well.

We were sat on a sofa and as the night went on we ended up moving closer to each other until he had his arm around me and he was holding my hand.

We were laughing and getting along like we had known each other for ages.

To me, it felt like we both liked each other.

Almost 5 hours later, we decided to go along the road to his flat. He had to get up super early for work, so hadn’t planned on staying out late, but we were clearly having a good time together.

We got up at 6am the following morning, got ready, and I walked along with him to work before heading home.

We were still laughing and talking along the road. There hadn’t really been any of the awkward silences that usually happen on a first date.

So, I left him at his work and I headed home.

I was really happy and was looking forward to seeing him again.

About lunch time I sent him a message about missing the electrician I was waiting on cause I fell asleep.

He read it, and then blocked my number. 

I couldn’t quite believe it. I refreshed WhatsApp hoping it was a mistake. It wasn’t.

He hadn’t said a word. There was no reason for it, he just completely ghosted me.

I can understand doing that if it was a horrible date and we didn’t get on, but I thought the date went so well. It didn’t make any sense.

The rest of the day I was just left feeling hurt and confused. I felt so unworthy and horrible, all because a guy blocked me.

So much of our self worth seems to comes from other people these days, so having someone just disappear on you for no reason can completely knock you down.

This isn’t even the first time this has happened to me, and probably won’t be the last, but this time really hit me in the gut.

Dating these days has become a game, and people seem to forget that those on the other end of the phone are still real human beings with feelings. It is almost like there is a whole set of rules to it that only the guys seem to know, cause I still have no clue how this is supposed to work!!

The world has become so obsessed with having the next thing, and wanting things instantly, that we are so focused on what is next rather than what is in front of us.

Maybe it was never going to work out between me and this guy, but there was no opportunity to even talk about it, he was gone just hours after I left.

Your self-confidence is such a key part of yourself, that when it is hit, your are left constantly questioning yourself. I know I spent the whole day in bed questioning myself and why I even bother any more.

It is easy enough to say to yourself to just get over it, but I think actually doing that is a different story.

I know that one day I will meet someone that is perfect for me, but right now, how am I supposed to navigate through this dating period in my life without hitting rock bottom?

Dating is hard these days. I mean, it probably has always been hard, but in this age of social media, it is even harder. You spend so much time & effort into having this perfect online image that you want the world to see, that your real life self gets lost in it all. All this worth comes from likes and followers, and when things fail, it totally knocks you.

I wish I could say it didn’t phase me, but I would by lying. I was hurt, and still sort of am. I don’t know why he blocked me, and never will. So now I am left guessing and coming up with all sorts of reasons why.

But hey! on to the next, right?

 

 

 

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